Zenyuki Week 2017
by Manika-on-a-whim
Summary: A book for all my entries for Zenyuki Week 2017! Hope you guys will enjoy..:3
1. Day 2: Memories

**Posted on: 19/09/17**

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 **A/N: Just to make things clear, this is a fic that I was originally planning to post in my Zenyuki one-shot book entitled Romance in the North. According to the setting of this book, Zen is the newly-appointed ruler at Wilant Castle whilst Shirayuki has been granted the post of the Head Pharmacist there. If any of you feel like checking out the other fics from this series, then click the aforementioned link..:)**

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 **Day 2: Memories**

 **Rating: T**

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"Are you ready?"

Tucking a lock of her mid-length red tresses behind her ear, the head pharmacist at Wilant Castle questions the man sitting right opposite her. It isn't easy to catch onto her words because of the barely audible tone of her voice but thanks to their proximity, he manages. It's impossible to miss how nervous she is about this whole ordeal and he has to try his hardest to keep himself from laughing. He brings-up his gloved-palm in order to hide the slowly-spreading, amused grin across his face. Not that he is enjoying her miserable expression but it's obvious that she is fretting just way too much over nothing.

"I know it's your first time but you are going to do great." The young ruler of the northern lands tries consoling her, his free hand patting her shoulder in reassurance.

Unlike his expectations though, the frown upon her face deepens and she hugs the notepad in her arms a bit too tight to her bosom. "Zen, you know this doesn't sound very convincing..coming from the man who is about to drink poison right under my watch."

This time a chuckle escapes his tightly-sealed lips and he shakes his head in disbelief. Poison-intake is something that all the members of the Wistaria household have to go through whether they like it or not. And he has been doing this ever since he was 7 but he can honestly admit, that it wasn't all that fun with Chief Garrack and her assistant Yatsufusa's solemn gazes upon his form. Well, he can't blame them for their professionalism. It's not as if they are attached to him on a personal level. However, the same can't be said for Shirayuki. Yes she is caring and considerate of other's needs. Yes she puts even a stranger's priorities before her own. But when it comes to him, she also holds him as one of the dearest one in her heart. Between the two of them, she was the first one who confessed her love and this unadulterated feeling is exactly what is making her worry more than she actually should.

"Listen, since this is your first time, I'll guide you through the process. Okay?" he asks, lowering his head to look straight into her concerned emeralds. Her response comes in the form of a meek nod of her head and he smiles.

"Alright once you give me the dosage, you survey my body's performance and record all the changes in my health for-"

"Three hours.." she finishes his words in horror and asks anxiously, "Zen, don't you think that three hours is a bit too much?! I mean what if something happens to you? What if.."

She stops as he places his hands on her shoulders and squeezes them, hoping that it may provide some sort of calm to her agitated thoughts. Shirayuki stares at her feet in distress. She knows that usually she is the stronger one of the two when it comes to facing challenges head-on yet she is unable to cope with her emotions today. Well..how is she even supposed to cope with them when the memory of their first encounter is still fresh in her eyes. There is an uneasiness roiling in the pit of her stomach because she remembers..she remembers how he had passed-out after taking a bite of that poisoned-apple for her. And it's also because she doesn't want to witness anything like that ever again. But most of all..she is scared of the endless list of 'what ifs' that _may_ occur if she fails to carry-out the whole procedure in the proper way..

She begins running her hands over the silver appliques etched at the hem of her short, blue skirt, expecting the action to distract her from the perturbed thoughts that have been plaguing her head for a week now. It doesn't really help much. He releases a long sigh as he caresses his palms down the nuance of her shoulders and stops only when they reach their destination, settling right atop her quivering, dainty fingers. Entangling their fingers together, he shifts his face closer, his intent sapphires fixed upon the uncertainty in her emeralds. He is glad..he _really_ is..because nobody expressed their concern for him during the previous conduction of such tests. Nonetheless, this is a task mandatory and he cannot skip one dosage just because she is frightened of the consequences that will never even occur. He believes in her skills and he is sure that she will not fail.

"You can do this." He mutters in the deathly silence of the pharmacy and she nods her head like a child.

Wiping the tears that had clouded her eyes, she flashes him her best confident-look. Her voice however, falters slightly. "I-I..guess..."

Nodding once again more to herself, she disentangles their fingers and vacates the chair that she had been sitting on. Walking towards a huge shelf, her eyes scan through the array of a variety of poisons in search of the one that she is supposed to give him. She returns with a small vial containing a transparent liquid and hands it to her beloved prince. Zen uncorks the vial yet just as it's mouth touches his lips, his hands come to a halt. A very important fact comes into his mind and he speaks in a tone that Shirayuki can only describe as utterly serious.

"Shirayuki, _do not_ give me the antidote before three hours." He commands.

"Alright." comes her instant response.

"I am absolute about this. Even if I beg you on my knees, _do not_ give in. You have to keep the antidote away from me for those three hours. Okay?" Zen asks.

She hums an affirmative because she is well-aware of the effects of poison on one's behaviour. She has read all of Zen's previous health records and it has been mentioned in a few of them that at times the poison has caused him to act in his desperation. But what exactly are those 'acts' is still a mystery to her. Guess she'll just have to rely on her instincts if something like that happens. Afterall, she can't back-out now that she herself volunteered to do this.

Giving her a final nod of assurance, he gulps down the contents of the vial in one go. Unlike the tasteless liquid that he had expected it to be, his tongue experiences a mix of tangy and bitter. It takes him a moment to realise that the poison has been mixed in a definite ratio with some alcohol because ofcourse, according to what he remembers hearing from Chief Garrack herself: "Poison must not be ingested directly." On the bright side, if one _does_ , the results will be the same. But on the darker side..not only will they develop immunity but also begin intoxicating their own body. Surely it won't harm them but it will easily kill anyone who gets physically intimate with the said person. And this is exactly how poison maidens are created and then sent over enemy lands to kill those of the royal blood. Well, Zen doesn't want to take lives..atleast not with _that_ method..

Suddenly, he feels a heaviness encompassing his head and grabs onto the nearest object- a desk's edge- to keep himself from falling. Tremors begin running along his skin and he feels the slow development of a headache.

"Zen!" he is hardly able to distinguish Shirayuki's panicky voice from the strong buzzing in his ears. His palms clutch even tighter onto the wood of the desk, his knuckles turning white.

Actually, as Shirayuki approaches him, she notices that not just his knuckles but his complete skin is turning paler by every passing minute. She brings her hand out in concern but he slaps it away and rapidly shakes his face in negation. Understanding dawns on her then and she feels a strong urge to slap herself. Zen is right. Instead of worrying her head about his condition, she must be taking notes regarding his health. Honestly, the only thing that she wants to do right now is hold him..hold him and try easing him of his current state but she can not. She has promised him that she will stop fretting and do what a pharmacist must do in such situations. And there is no way she can fail him when he's counting on her.

She carefully picks-up a pen from where it is lying next to his trembling hands on the desk and begins jotting down points about his present condition. After that, supporting half of his body-weight on one of her shoulders, she walks him towards the bed in the inner room of the pharmacy and helps him lay down on it. Instinctively he curls into a ball to endure the spasms of pain across his torso. How grievous it is for her to watch him in such anguish and yet, all that she is supposed to do is watch him struggle with the pain all by himself.

Nobody will understand what she is going through right now. For distant spectators, its just an ordinary apothecary doing her job of monitoring a patient's condition. But if one looks closely, it's clearly visible in her eyes. She used to nurse thousands of patients back in Tanbarun and she has to admit, even though concerned, she was never in absolute torment. But that very same ounce of nonchalance, she cannot apply in account of the young man currently writhing in the confines of these white sheets. Zen is different from the people that she has treated in the past. He isn't just a patient..he is the man that she fell in love with because of who he is. There is nothing dissimilar in him since their first encounter. He was arrogant and yet kind when she didn't know who he was. He is still the same kind man now that she knows him so well..

Biting her lip in contemplation, she stares at his palms clawing at the cushiony pillow. His fingers are digging in so deep that he can literally rip the fabric off. Shirayuki closes her eyes, takes a breath and steps forward. Having made up her mind, she sits down by his side, the mattress depressing under her weight and cautiously, she uncoils his fingers from the pillow. He instantly gazes up at her, his sapphires in a dazed stature. Giving him a gentle smile, she allows him to wrap his shaky palms around her own smaller ones and god, he holds them tight. His grip is harsh but Shirayuki lets him be because she understands..understands that he is in excruciating suffering and he needs someone to support him during this moment..

.

.

An hour and a half elapses with the second prince coping with the dizziness clouding his head and the tremors vibrating along his skin. He has been sweating profusely and no matter how hard he tries, sleep just isn't blessing his distraught soul. Thankfully, his beloved herbalist hasn't let go of his hands. And he is lucky enough to be able to withstand these agonising hours in her tranquil presence.

An eerie silence begins encompassing the calm atmosphere of the room. Shirayuki checks the time in the new pocket watch that she had gifted Zen and is placated to find that there are only 40 minutes more to go. As she looks down to inform the young ruler about this good news, she notices how unusually quiet he is. He isn't even fidgeting anymore. Tentatively, she uses her fingers to stroke away the silvery-white locks of hair concealing his eyes.

"Shi..shih..ra..yukihh.." he calls out in recognition, barely able to form coherent words.

Promptly she bends her head to level her face with his. "Yes! Zen, I'm right here."

"Shira..yuhh..ki t..th..at anti..an..tidote.." he mutters and she tries her best to grasp his slurred speech.

"The antidote? What about it?" she asks anxiously.

His hold on her palm tightens even more (if that is even possible) and in a baritone he requests, "Gi..Give me the antidote.."

Freeing one of her hands, she reaches behind to grab the flask containing the remedial solution from the side table and just when she is about to hand it to him, the words he had said a while before starting this test echo in her head. _Do not_ _give me the antidote before three hours._ He had said in a firm tone. And if he had said so himself, why is he requesting for it now when it isn't even the right time? Is this the change in behaviour that was mentioned in his previous health records? If so, then now she understands the conviction with which he had spoken those words. She is sure that she mustn't comply to his requests. Not only will it result in the failure of the whole procedure but also will she violate her promise to Zen.

She reclines her palm before it can come into his reach and shakes her head. "I'm sorry, Zen. I cannot do this. I can't give you the antidote.."

Disappointment takes over his pale demeanour as he speaks with shocked, wide-eyes, "You can't?!" his voice is hoarse and yet desperate, "Well ofcourse you can. It's right there in your other hand." He points an accusatory finger.

She negates with a shake of her head and places it back at a safe distance from his reach. And as she looks back, her determined emeralds come in direct contact with his wavering sapphires. It's almost like he is about to cry. As if on cue, he pulls her arms into his sweating palms, gazing sincerely at her. Tears are beginning to brim his eyes and Shirayuki wills herself to stay calm..to not lose to this trick because of her emotions...

"Please Shirayuki!" desperation is dripping his tone as he speaks, "Please just give me the antidote!"

Her own eyes fill-up. It really is painful to look at him in such a sorry state. Her arms are shaking under his fidgety yet strong hold on them. His eyes are edgy..feral!...But not the kind of soft-feral that she describes for Obi. He is actually staring at her as if a predator spying on its prey. He is Zen. Then again, he isn't Zen at all..

"Give me the damn antidote!" he growls in frustration.

Tears begin streaming down her porcelain cheeks and she declines his orders just as fiercely as him. "I can't!"

"Why can't you?!" his hands are now on her shoulders and the force of his arms knocks the both of them off the bed. "Why?!" he asks, ignoring how he is right on top of her, scaring her to wits.

Mustering all the strength that she can into her arms, she pushes him off of herself and his weak form collides with the bed. She isn't sure why or how but the confidence starts seeping back into her form. And she finally feels like she can do this..She can handle this test like the amazing herbalist that she is. Silences befalls the room all over again. And in it's reign, Shirayuki finds the both of them breathing raggedly. Her hands are clutching fistfuls of his indigo-coloured shirt as he lowers his head for reasons unknown, his silvery-white locks concealing the wildness in his eyes. For moments they remain like that— without any verbal exchanges, hearing the sounds of their heavy panting in the quiet..

In the midst of the mess, her eyes catch a glimpse of the silver chain dangling around her neck. Descending her emeralds slightly downwards, her gaze finds the broken watch dial attached to it and she turns he head towards the side table, her eyes searching for Zen's watch that she had bought from Lyrias to have a glance at the time. A breath of relief escapes her lips and she licks them. Thirteen! Only thirteen minutes to go before this test gets over. Gingerly, she releases Zen's shirt and moves her hands upwards, placing them upon his stubbled-cheeks. He breathes-out audibly in response to her soft touch. It seems like the seizure that had captured him is gone now and he is just trying to steady his breath. She smiles a happy and tearful smile at him. He _may_ have behaved differently but deep down, he is still Zen..

"Hold on..just a little longer.." she whispers, disturbing the quietus of the room. Her hands are still around his jaws, massaging his skin in slow, fluid motions in hopes of calming his agitated nerves. A sigh leaves his lips and it sends shudders down her neck because of their closeness. Languidly, he motions his hands, his palms closing around her wrists and he watches her try..try and ease him the best she can..

And those tormenting thirteen minutes pass just like that, with them sitting on the cold yet comforting floor. When the red-haired beauty realises this, she tries to stand-up but finds that his hands are still holding her wrists. Smiling, she speaks, "Zen..it's over."

His eyes _almost_ come to life when he hears those words and he let's go of her wrists. She immediately fetches the antidote from the table. Uncorking it, she brings it close to his lips and like a thirsty wanderer pining for water, he drinks the whole thing in quick gulps. Unlike the poison, the effects of the antidote begin showing-up immediately. He shakes his head, rubs his eyes and coughs violently. Shirayuki pats his back and helps him take in a few sips of water. Unfortunately, the effects of the remedial solution turn out to be far too strong for Zen's already poison-struck body and he passes out, his lean form sagging over hers. Clumsily, she tucks him back into the bed and pulls out one of those heavy herbarium texts so that her mind remains occupied and she can keep herself from worrying too damn much about his health...

.

.

When the faint, orange rays of the sun gleam upon his peacefully closed eyelids, he awakens from his slumber. Wearily, he looks out the small window at the fading dusk sky as the sun begins its descent down the horizon. It is in those calm moments that fragments of visions begin flashing before his mind's eyes and he recalls about the poison-intake test that he was supposed to take today under the surveillance of his beloved. He bolts up in the mattresses, a buzzing noise deafening his ears to the point he develops another headache. Well, guess sitting up wasn't the best idea. He has a very foggy memory of what occurred a few hours prior to his sleep but that's just a side effect that comes with drinking poisons. Thankfully, a pair of dainty arms reach around his torso and he finds himself trapped in a warm hug. The strands of red that hover over his face help him recognise the said person and he returns the sweet gesture by wrapping his feeble arms around her waist.

"Shirayuki.." he mumbles and she pulls back to look at him..to inspect him. The ferocity is gone. It isn't there in his gaze anymore and the colour is back in his skin. He stares at her and it seems as if he is seeing her for the time in his life. An unsuspected tear rolls down her eyelid and he catches it on the tip of his finger before it can hit the floor. She is glad..she is just so glad that the old Zen— _her_ Zen is back to normal..

His eyes however, narrow at the tiny droplet on his finger and his lips turn down into a frown. "What did I do?" he asks. Shirayuki is a strong woman and there's rarely anything that can break her, which simply means that something really terrible must've happened to leave her so shaken.

Nonetheless, the young woman makes a horrible attempt of covering it up with a smile. Che! He's known her long enough to catch on when she's hiding something from him. And he has a very strong hunch that it has something to do with him..

"I did something, I know. So please tell me." He requests earnestly.

She wipes a few more arising tears and shakes her head. "It's nothing.."

His eyes narrow into slits and for an instance Shirayuki sees that look in his countenance— the one that berates himself for no damn reason. Sighing, he slaps his palms over his tired face and answers the question for himself, "I hurt you.."

"Zen! No!" she disagrees right away and yet her tears betray her statement as they endlessly cascade down her cheeks.

"I _did_ hurt you." he says resolutely, his fingers gnawing at his face.

She let's out a long, aggravated breath. The tears never stop. Dammit why?! She was the one who agreed to helping him out with this. She handled him within those three long hours of surveillance. Heck! She even managed to keep his actions at bay when he was under the effects of a seizure! So then why? Why can't she stop shedding these tears? Is it because of that seizure? Did his yelling scare her this much? No..it can't be..or maybe it is...

"God! I should've known..this wasn't a good idea.." he mutters, staring at his clenched fists.

Again! Why is he always ready to take the blame for everything that happens between them? And she? Why is she even crying? It was a mere seizure. Things like this are bound to happen when a person drinks poison and she being an herbalist, must always be mentally prepared for this. Forcefully rubbing off her tears, she looks at the guilty expression on his face.

"No Zen.." she mumbles, refuting to watch him blame himself for what happened, "Yes you hurt me." She confirms with quick nods, "..but only because _you_ were hurting."

His eyes widen and he stares dubiously at her. "You were in pain and you needed to let out your emotions on someone. And trust me, I'll always be around to handle your pain." She says, a small assuring smile curving upon her lips.

He can't help himself from staring at her. This girl. Why is she so generous? How can she forgive him just like that without even raising a single question about his actions? How is it that he never explains a thing to her and yet she understands everything? How? He watches her with his calculative gaze as she flashes him a bright smile, her face completely tear-stained. His fingers twitch and he is overwhelmed by this sudden urge to touch her..even just a little. And so, before she can even comprehend, he bends his head forward to capture her soft lips with his own. She is shocked but she closes her eyes, tilting her face slightly to let him deepen the kiss. A fire is kindled in his heart all over again. She has always had this effect on him and he pulls her by the waist into his awaiting lap, almost crushing her in his tight embrace. "I'm so sorry." he mumbles against her lips, "I'm so sorry I hurt you. I didn't even know I _was_. But I am extremely sorry." She encircles his neck with her arms, pulling him further down into the kiss. He passes his tongue over the cavern of her mouth, asking for permission and she parts her lips in affirmation. A sigh of pleasure escapes her lips as their tongues unite. Shirayuki realises that this isn't simply a kiss but a plea. She can feel his apology and fervour in this kiss and she accepts it all with equal passion.

When they finally pull back to allow themselves a breath, he finds himself giving her one of his own smiles. Life really wasn't all that fun before he met Shirayuki. He can't remember much of his past but ever since she has entered his world, he has started creating some really fond memories. And he is sure that together they will keep continuing on this path.

Taking her small palm between his fingers, he leans his head down and places a soft kiss over the back of her palm. "Shirayuki, thank you for holding me when I was hurting and for believing in me even when I hurt you.."

They exchange another smile, as the memory of this eventful day etches into their minds...

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 **A/N: I know..the ending isn't all that good. I don't even know if this fic fits the theme but please try to bear with it. I'm planning a sequel for this..:3**

 **On a completely different note, _Mithradatism_ or simply 'poison-intake', is a very precise technique. It requires a lot of focus because even a tiny mistake can result in grave consequences. I know because it used to be a very famous practice in my country and I've read and researched a lot about this. This fanfic contains just a fraction of facts that I know about Mithradatism. So please, anybody who just read this story, do not try any of this at home.**

 **~Manika**


	2. Day 3: Damsel in Defence

**Posted on: 20/09/17**

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 **A/N: This fic has been written in the second person format, which means the 'You' here is used to refer to Zen..** **?**

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 **Day 3: Damsel in Defence**

 **Rating: K+**

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"Zen!"

Your eyes widen as you find yourselves trapped in her embrace. It's not everyday that you see her jumping into your arms. It's a rare happening— one that you get to experience almost never in your life. Her palms clutch at the fabric of your shirt a bit too tight but all that you can notice is the coldness of her skin. She is scared..she really must be since her hold isn't loosening even slightly. A small smile curves up on your lips in understanding. You wipe the trail of blood caused by the cut on your cheek and slowly wrap your bruised arms around her petite waist. The action calms her a bit and she burrows her face further into your chest, her sobs reverberating throughout your body. You begin stroking her back, letting her endless tears soak your shirt.

 _Damn those abductors!_ You curse inwardly. How cunning of them to attack her right at the moment she was alone and unguarded. It's all your fault. Your three aides have been sent out to Yuris Island on an inspection of the Bird Training and so, this had left Shirayuki without her silent knight, the topaz-eyed ex-assassin. It's funny how fate enjoys playing with humans in such times. Shirayuki was asked to go over to the port town and fetch some rare herbs, an order from the renowned Chief Pharmacist herself. All the shopping went by easily but unfortunately, during her return from the town, a band of men tried capturing her for some ransom. Thankfully little Ryuu, who had been accompanying her on the trip was left unscathed as their major interest was only the red-haired beauty. Having been left by himself on the road, the young prodigy immediately dashed back to the castle as fast as his small feet allowed him to and informed about the matter directly to you. Abandoning your paperwork right away, you patted little Ryuu's head in reassurance and departed on your stallion.

It merely took you an hour to find their gang on the busy streets of the marketplace as Shirayuki's bright shade of hair is something that can barely ever go unnoticed. You fought against them ofcourse but it wasn't a piece of cake. All those men have been in their line of profession since forever so it took you a lot to win over them. Surely minor nicks, cuts and bruises have marred your skin but you don't even give a damn because _she_ is hugging you. Had it been some other time, she would've panicked over the numerous injuries inflicted by those men upon your body. But as of right now, she is way too scared to even look up from your chest. Yes! It _is_ a big deal to be held by her because she is a headstrong woman who hardly needs protection from you or Obi or anyone for the matter. She isn't one of those delicate ladies who need a soldier by their side. She is fully capable of defending herself. Thus, moments where she clings to you are rare. And you know that it's utterly childish of you to be relishing in her touch when clearly she's weeping in your arms. Still, as you kiss her hair and whisper consoling words to ease her mind, you can't help yourself but savour every second of this embrace. Afterall, it feels really good to be relied on once in a while..

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 **A/N: It's short! It's way too short xD**

 **And even the ending is abrupt O.O but please forgive me.**

 **~Manika**


	3. Day 4: Secret

**Posted on: 21/09/17**

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 **A/N: Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed the previous entries. I'm nothing without you dear readers. So give yourselves a treat because you readers are fab :D**

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 **Day 4: Secret**

 **Rating: T**

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 _It_ _needs to be kept a secret._

You chant this mantra to yourself every morning you flick your eyes open. It's the only thing that keeps you motivated towards the pursuit of your goal— your goal of standing next to _her_ someday..

"Don't worry, Master. I'll go easy on you." teases your feline, personal messenger-cum knight.

Ignoring his wink, you relax your grip around the wooden practice sword and position yourself into a proper fighting stance. You have the complete day off yet instead of spending it in the company of your beloved, you are here at the training grounds of the castle. Since the past week, you have been in an inner conflict with your thoughts and you are well-aware that letting out some of this steam in a sparring match with Obi is the best solution. And true to your assumptions, as he makes the first strike with his sword, you feel the rush of adrenaline in your system. With a quick crouch, you jump back and retaliate. It's returning— the peace you have been searching for. Bit by bit, with every clash of the swords, you feel more at ease.

 _It_ _needs to be kept a secret._ You remind yourself all over again as you block another blow, 'it' being used to refer to your romantic relationship with a certain red-haired herbalist. There are times when you can't help yourself from wondering if it would've been easier had you not been born into the royal family. But then again, blue blood or not, people are always going say something behind your back. It's a human tendency, a _need_ to gossip about others' lives in order to avoid one's own problems.. Maybe it'd have been better had you officially declared about this to the whole kingdom. But ofcourse, the rational part of you knows well enough that this isn't the proper time to make such announcements. It will only lead to unnecessary rumours right now..

Meeting her was fate but falling in love..is something that you hadn't signed up for. You had come across her on a random road and fallen for her at the first sight. And just when your mind had begun assuring you that you can drown no further into this feeling, she did _that_ — sacrificing her own self by trying to go against the Viscount of the Yuris Island, saying that if there is ever a situation where you are forced to make a choice between her and the kingdom, she'll make sure to deal with it on her own. She will never allow you to get into such a predicament. Well, she is still doing it..by hiding her relationship with you. It's always like this. Be it a complete stranger or someone that you've known long enough, people are always ready to make sacrifices for you so that you don't have to suffer.

"Whoa Master! Watch out!" Obi's panicky tone of voice pulls you out from your land of thoughts and you look straight ahead only to find his sword charging towards you. Your mind immediately begins running the gears, trying to come up with the best move to tackle this attack. But you already know that it is far too late to counter it now and so, in a hasty attempt to shield yourself from the impact, you raise your hand up to the level of your face so as to block yourself. A dumb move. Really, a very stupid move. The wood of the weapon collides with your triceps and a faint, cracking noise passes your ears.

"Master!" he yells in concern, the other soldiers also making their way towards you. Fortunately, your faithful chaperones aren't around or else Mitsuhide would have whined for a complete month about your well-being.

"It's alright." you groan out to the numerous soldiers that have gathered round to peek at your wound. The cracking- you realise- was not the sound of your arm bones but the wooden sword.

Smart as he is, Obi easily guesses the reason behind your lack in concentration and orders all the men to disperse so as to make way for the second prince. And before you can so much as even question his actions, he drags you out of the training grounds, making you run along with him in the general direction of the pharmacy.

Upon your arrival at the destined place, Obi gestures you to wait as he disappears behind the double doors. For some reason, he seems to be slightly on edge. You have a pretty good idea why and so, like an innocent little child, you wait outside.

Minutes later, when the ex-assassin exits the room, he directs his topaz irises right at your sapphires. The hints of irritation are still present in his gaze, you notice. When it comes to you, he worries way too much. It's like every time you fall, he'll blame himself for not being able to defend you. You let out a deep sigh for you know that he is just like this and he will always be this faithful to you.

"Obi-"

"Master, you must get yourself treated." with that stern statement that fits somewhere between a request and a command, he leaves you alone in the corridors. Well, you can just invite him to a drink to cheer his mood.

Pushing past the doors of the infirmary, you peek in and it is just as she spots you that she approaches -more like rushes towards you. The next instant you are dragged inside and made to sit upon a stool. And as she shuts the door, you feel the sudden crawl of tension up your spine. Looks like your personal messenger has informed about your wound to her. You've actually seen her mad at you and honestly, you have no idea how to respond. So you settle with a neutral face when on the inside you're scared that she might scold you for your (idiotic?) act of defending yourself with your bare arms when clearly you had a weapon in your hand all throughout the time.

She marches towards you with a sort of conviction that you have never witnessed before. You shut your eyes, awaiting the lashings that are to be spewed at you from her lips but unexpectedly, she crushes your form into an endearing hug.

"Zen" she calls like she always does but you are far too surprised to come up with either any physical or verbal responses. No scolding? Seriously?

"Obi told me everything." she begins, "What happened? He says you weren't even focusing on the spar." _How does he even know?_ You think to yourself.

"Shirayuki-"

"These days you're always lost in your thoughts. What's keeping you so muddled up?" she asks, earnest concern dripping from her tone.

You can't lie to her. You know that your conscience will never allow you to. Therefore, you answer her with the utmost honesty, "Us. I've been thinking about us."

"Stop it already. You bothering yourself with this bothers me just as much. We'll be fine, I know. Plus, it's not good for your health." She speaks worriedly.

It's so easy for people to display fake sympathy and affection when in public. You being a prince have witnessed it first hand. There are thousands of royalties who greet you and your brother with words of support on times of losses but they are also the people who only do so in order to gain your trust. Shirayuki however, frets over you even at the smallest of things that happen to you. The genuineness of her feelings is always visible in her vibrant emeralds. They express more than words can ever describe. And you thank the heavens for the umpteenth time for blessing you with such a true woman in your life.

Silently, she pulls up the bloodied-sleeve of your black tunic in a tender manner so as to keep you from feeling any pain and yet you hiss at the sensation of the cloth skimming over your damaged skin. Her grip on the shirt loosens the moment her eyes land on the injury. Yours do too. Fine slivers of wood have pierced your skin and blood is continuously trickling out from the damaged area. Hastily she begins the treatment, trying her best to keep her emotions at bay.

Amidst the cleaning and bandaging, she is way too lost to even notice you smiling at her. Slowly you lean forward and place your lips upon hers in a momentary touch and as you pull away, the smile graces your lips all over again. She doesn't ask because she knows that it's the only way you have of expressing your love towards her. You cannot be so open with her in public and so, you settle with being satisfied with stolen kisses and lingering touches as you pass each-other around the corridors.

Maybe you can do it.. It's hard and it plagues you most of the time but maybe you _can_.. You can keep it a secret..just a little longer. Just until she reaches that place about which she had told you in the past.. Just until you become worthy enough of supporting your brother as he rules over the vast expanses of Clarines.. Just until you both become good enough to be able to stand next to each-other without being questioned by the spectators about your mutual feelings. Yes! Just until that day. You have faith in the both of you. You believe that someday it will happen. But until that day, _it needs to be kept a secret.._

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 **A/N: I typed this while was half asleep. With all the college work and the blog handling, I'm always tired these days. Still, I hope guys enjoyed reading this..:3**

 **~Manika**


	4. Day 6: Insecurity

**Posted on: 23/09/17**

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 **A/N: And another fic in the second person format. This one is from Shirayuki's perspective.**

 **Hope you guys like it! :3**

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 **Day 6: Insecurity**

 **Rating: T**

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"Should we end this?"

Merely an hour has elapsed ever since his arrival at Lyrias and these are the first words that he speaks to you in the seclusion of the closed pharmacy doors. The pestle that you had been using continuously to grind a few lavender leaves in the mortar shakes along with the jitters that pass your calm form. You are utterly at a loss of words. After crossing such distances to pay you a visit, you had expected to hear words of comfort and affection from the young man that you have come to love over the past years. You had even purposely dragged him to your workplace so that you could prepare some lavender tea just for the two of you and share some much needed private moments together. And yet, here he is, sitting across the table from you, head resting in the crook of his gloved-palm. His statement has left you and your little head in a complete mess. Still, with the fleeting ounce of hope in your heart, you smile at him.

"Zen-"

You try in vain to change the topic but he is smart enough to understand your actions and so, he cuts you off before you can even finish your speech.

"Should we end this?" he adds more emphasis on each word as he repeats them and you feel a pang of fear hit that blood-pumping muscle in your body. Your trembling hands leave the pestle and you bring up a palm to clutch tightly at the bust of your dress in hopes of alleviating some of the bubbling ache in your chest. It doesn't work..if anything, it only worsens when you look at his eyes..when you gaze into that apologetic expression.. It's all crystal clear and yet like an idiot, you try using the dumbest trick in the book— oblivion. You act as if you have no idea whatsoever about his query and counter his question with one of your own.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand. We should end _what_?" you ask, plastering a fake smile upon your quivering lips.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. _Us_." He gestures between the two of you to make a point, "So, should we end our relationship?" he deadpans without so much as even faltering.

The gravity of his words drags you further down into the pit of despair. And you know that it is really childish of you to take his words in the wrong sense but you just aren't able to shield your brain from thinking negatively. Why now? Why after all these years of exchanging meaningful glances and sneaking kisses? Is this why he wanted to see you so bad? To just come here and end what the two of you cherished for so long?

"So that's it? It's over?" you ask in a tone far more rude than you had meant it to.

He passes a hand through his silky white locks, "We can't keep this up forever."

"Keep this up!?" your response is immediate. So that's all it was? Those silent stares and lingering touches meant _nothing_?! Suddenly your throat starts drying and a heaviness begins encompassing your heart. The weight of his words is sinking your hopes further into the depths of despair and fear uses this to its advantage. It ensnares all the positivity in your being and manipulates your emotions. And as you try to speak, your voice comes out in a barely audible shrill, "I thought you _loved_ me."

Your eyes widen when he slams his hands over the old teak of the table and bolts up from the chair he had been sitting on. His arms are trembling and he narrows his sapphires at you. For reasons unknown, they appear darker than they usually are. And even with the table separating the two of you, you take two cautious steps back. He isn't pleased by your action. You can tell because his eyes narrow down into fine slits as he glares at you. "I still do!" he declares, anger evident in his tone. "I still love you.."

"Then why?!" you yell, fresh tears now brimming your eyelids. Oh how excited you had been the whole week when you heard about him travelling to see you. You had planned out everything in your head. The meeting, the small talk over tea, the introductions to your friends at the scholar's district, a walk down the busy market area at night.. Everything! You had been so excited about this reunion and yet, look what it has turned into. Instead of sitting comfortably in the afternoon warmth, you are shouting in each-other's faces.

Wiping your tears with the long, flowing sleeve of your dress, you look at him again, only to find that he appears to be just as hurt as you. What is wrong with him? If he means what he just said and if this talk is hurting him as well, then why exactly does he want to do this? Releasing a long sigh to calm your nerves, you lick your lips anxiously and attempt a different approach with this conversation. "What happened?"

He turns his head to the side, contemplating whether he must speak the truth or not. "Shirayuki," he whispers your name softly after much thought as he moves across the table towards you and the sincere look in his gaze scares you. It's as if he is about to say something that'll pain you even more. "You are amazing. You _really_ _are_. But I'm not. In these two years, I've barely ever paid you a visit. I am unable to be there for you when you need me the most. I'm not good enough and maybe I'll never be.."

"Zen-"

"Don't worry, there are countless men far more capable..far more suitable than I will ever be.."

This is it. This one verbal blow hits you hard and you feel all your hopes crumbling down. You stare into those dark sapphires of the man you had encountered by chance. And you can undoubtedly state that this isn't the same arrogant, unstoppable prince that you had fallen for. The defiance is no longer visible in his gaze. Desperately you search for hints of it, hoping to catch so much as even a glimpse of that bravado masked somewhere behind those silent pools of blue. Sadly, you find nothing of the sort. What happened? What could've possibly shaken him to this extent that he wants a break up? From what you can recall, between the two of you, he is the optimistic one. He has always been around to cheer you up whenever you feel down. Never had you expected to witness a moment where he is the insecure one. And truth be told, you have no idea how to handle this.

"Zen, you.."

Before you can even finish your words, he brushes your red locks tenderly, catching a few strands between his index finger and thumb. "Heh.." he chuckles nostalgically, "If only I hadn't kissed you when I did.."

Your eyes widen in disbelief and unconsciously you grasp onto his wrist that is still holding your strands. Squeezing it gently, you shake your head in negation. "Stop it already. If you think that you can easily put the blame completely upon yourself then you are mistaken. Zen I _love_ you. And it's not because you kissed me in that tower. I've always felt this way about you so stop putting everything upon your shoulders!"

"But _I_ started this." He mumbles with disappointment.

"Yes you did! But it was solely upto me to choose. And I didn't hold back. I chose to reciprocate your feelings.. _I_ did. And you have no right to question my choice." Tears are endlessly cascading down your cheeks and yet you are unable to stop. You cannot stop now for you know that this is the last resort that you have against his words..that this is your only chance to convince him.

Despite the constant tears blurring your vision, you look straight at him. An inexplicable surge of confidence rouses within you and you pull his wrist down, placing it upon your heart. "Zen, I've seen many different colours in my life. But in that fort when you kissed me for the first time, my feelings were a mix of fear and joy. I experienced a colour like never before. And you..and _this_.." you squeeze his wrist emphatically, "..what we _have_ makes me come across a myriad of colours all the time.."

He gives no response to your sweet confessions. His eyes have widened. He is beyond shocked to even think of a proper response and therefore, you continue, "No matter what you think of yourself, you have always been there for me. It's because you are always right _here_ ," you push his hand more to your heart, "..that I am able to keep working towards my goals. Don't you understand?! You give me the strength to walk on my chosen path..and if-if you want to end what we have, then let me tell you, you will break me.."

He lowers his head, his eyes silhouetted by the sunlight that is peeking in through the windows. He stays like that— silent and unmoving. And you wish that he'd just say something..anything..just respond to your confessions in some form. All of a sudden, he looks up, his sullen gaze meeting your emeralds. His lips motion as if to speak but the fear of hearing him repeat his words makes you interrupt his speech, "Zen if you're just going to say something more painful then-"

Your words die down as he places his lips against yours in an apologetic kiss. But angered as you are, you glare at him and the moment he realises this, he jerks away, his face all flustered like a cute teenager. "I-I'm sorry for that. I just..you didn't let me speak! And I don't know what came over me." He provides the lame excuse in a flurry followed by fake coughs in order to hide his embarrassment.

Slowly a blush creeps upon your cheeks and inspite of being mad at him, you are unable to keep it in check. Oh he can't be serious! Not after bringing up such a topic. One minute he is doubting himself and the next he kisses you out of the blue. And his reason? Because you didn't allow him to speak! Well how could you? You don't want him to say it all over again. You don't want him to utter even a single word about ending your relationship. He has become a significant part of your life and you don't want to lose him just because of his 'self-thought' insecurities.

When you bid no response, he looks away and awkwardly coughs even more before finally deciding to speak. "Eh hem!..Shirayuki, can I kiss you?", he asks with utmost sincerity like the chivalrous prince that he is.

"Only if we're _together_." You answer in irritation, a childish yet adorable pout now gracing your lips.

"What?! I thought we- I mean- Are we not?" he asks, sweating with fear.

For an instant, you stare dumbfounded at him but then your ears catch a lively sound echoing around the whole room and it is when you find him staring intently at you that you realise, it's your own laughter. "Ofcourse we are!" you confirm, poking his chest.

Relief washes over his face and his tensed body relaxes. He frees his wrist from your grasp and wraps his arms around your lithe waist. Planting a chaste kiss upon your lips, he pulls back. "I'm sorry. I..I have my moments..moments where I end up driving myself crazy by thinking about things that aren't ever going to happen. And I'm glad I came here to see you today because like every other time, you have succeeded in reviving my confidence. So, sorry for what I did and thank you for not giving up on me."

"You too Zen, thank you for believing in my words." You smile at him.

And before you know it, the ominous aura that had been surrounding you too is gone. And he is kissing you hard, all his emotions evident in his searing touch. And you feel it again..a new colour clouding your senses. You rise up on your toes to deepen the kiss, to savour it as long as it lasts. Tears form at the base of your eyelids again but this time, they are expressing glee..they are expressing the joy that you are feeling simply because he is back. Yes! The usual mischievous and straightforward Zen that you love so much has returned..

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 **A/N:This is unedited and still can be better but I hope you guys enjoyed reading..:)**

 **[Credits for a few dialogues go to rfaimagining on tumblr]**

 **~Manika**


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